WHO SHOULD BE THE NEXT CHANCELLOR OF TEXAS TECH UNIVERSITY?

THE WHIRLWIND wants to know…who should be the next Chancellor of Texas Tech University?

It should be clear by now to most that Texas Tech Chancellor Kent Hance is a lame duck. We’re tired of him, his board of regents is tired of him and he LOOKS tired. If he won’t go away completely we can at least hope he’ll finally give up the athletic program to Kirby Hocutt. Maybe he’ll dotter over to Hance Chapel as Chancellor Emeritus like Pope Benedict XVI has petered off into his little garden home.

It might not be by chance that U.S. Congressman Randy Neugebauer was in town to speak at commencement ceremonies last weekend. He came with a pocketful of tax dollars for Texas Tech and just in time to remind us that he still maintains an address in Lubbock.

Congressman Neugebauer has made great strides while in Congress…great strides in increasing his own net worth in office. Is it possible he is ready to return home the conqueror and now head up Texas Tech University? Let’s hope not.

Who would you like to see head Tech if Chancellor Hance steps down this FALL? Is it even necessary that we have a Chancellor?


PRICE OF A CHIK-FIL-A SANDWICH

THE WHIRLWIND wants to know…”if everything happens for a reason,” why does a spicy Chik-fil-A sandwich meal cost $6.66?

That’s right my superstitious friends, the Biblical Mark of the Beast, $6.66, for a spicy chicken sandwich meal and diet lemonade at the restaurant that is never open on Sunday. The Whirlwind believes that the idea that everything happens for a reason is bunk. We’re not atheists here, far from it, but there is no genie, angel or God in the sky manipulating every event in our lives and each toss of the coin. The very idea that God chooses to control every thing in our lives is a faith destroyer and we reject it. Luck, chance and choice play those roles in our lives.

But there IS a reason why a spicy a Chik-fil-A sandwich meal with diet lemonade costs $6.66: because when you add 8.25% sales tax to $6.15 the total is $6.66. That’s it. No more. No less.

We say quit looking for fatalistic (or fantastic) excuses for what happens and seize control of what you can and work with what you can’t.

What say you?


I NEVER WANTED TO BE A FIREMAN

I went through lots of phases growing up. I wanted to be an FBI man, a Secret Service agent, a defense attorney and even a preacher but I never wanted to be a fireman. I’m not that brave.

Of all of the images of the World Trade Center collapse on 9/11 that haunt me, the one that I cannot shake is the image of a company of firemen preparing to enter the North Tower. One of them, a young man, was visibly pumping himself up, readying himself to go into a situation that logic and experience must have told him he may not survive. But he did anyway. I still wonder what happened to that young man. What I do know is that 343 fire fighters lost their lives that day.

In West, Texas last week, a town just larger than Idalou, ten firemen lost their lives. These men were trained, experienced first responders. They must have known that the fertilizer fire they were fighting was likely to result in an explosion but they stayed, protecting the lives and homes of the people they served. They did their jobs.

What kind of courage is that? It is beyond my comprehension. But I know this, I am thankful for people who do their jobs. It makes me wonder if we don’t need a few fire fighters in public office and if maybe we shouldn’t send a few officeholders to the firehouse to infuse in them a little backbone.

—Sandstorm Scholar


ANOTHER DIVORCE

I’m always the last to find out these things but this week my new doctor broke the news that the Fruit & Vegetable family is no longer together and the separation appears permanent.

I never cared much for Vegetable, he’s been such a tasteless boor, but I’ve always liked his sweet wife, Fruit. Knowing they were together was comforting since I always felt if I got a little Fruit I was covering my dietary bases with the entire family.

Now I have to see them both and, wouldn’t you know, the doctor also told me that Fruit is associated with a bad element these days, the Carbs. I was cautioned to not overdo her.

The good news is that bacon is back. So it looks like it’s time wrap the green beans and okra in bacon and smother them with cheese.

Fat is still the lubricant of life.

—SANDSTORM SCHOLAR


INDECENT HUMOR

Good politics has a lot to do with making people laugh. Some stories are protected under seal for 50 years. Others make headlines.

It wasn’t that long ago in a West Texas city just north northwest of Slaton that two candidates for state rep were locked in a tight battle. They really weren’t, but stories like this start that way.

The Older Dog was wily and way ahead. The Underdog, faithful to his party and cause, worked tirelessly even in neighborhoods where few of his party or ethnicity could be found. One afternoon the Underdog’s determination had outstayed his bladder and, desperate for a place to relieve himself, he sought refuge in the alley.

Now it’s possible that our story might have ended differently had his face blended in but it did not. What’s certain is that he was arrested in that alley for indecent exposure. Great headlines. The Older Dog is winning and the Underdog has charges pending.

But things like this can go either way. Regardless of whether it made him something of a laughingstock for fifteen minutes, no one thought seriously the Underdog had malicious intent. When you gotta’ go…ya’ know?

So rather than leave things to the winds of chance and the sympathy vote, shortly before the election the Older Dog conceives a plan to seal the deal and, we’re told, made a suggestion to the District Attorney who apparently saw it as an expedient way out an uncomfortable situation.

And that’s how it came about that the Underdog found grace but lost the race, because the headlines read:

“Exposure Charges Dropped for Insufficient Evidence.”

—-Sandstorm Scholar


A Tale of Two Coaches

After having steered Texas Tech sports into it’s worst season in a quarter century Team Hance has now maneuvered Texas Tech basketball into a total program fail.

And if Tech fans weren’t already feeling slam dunked, they will when they learn that Coach Kent will continue to pay Tech’s Biggest Loser coach almost $500,000 of public funds to do nothing between now and April according to the Lubbock AJ. It’s Monopoly money to a bureaucrat like Hance who has been spending public funds so long he has forgotten where it comes from.

How did we get here? Why does a lackluster basketball coach who regularly violated NCAA rules and ran off three times as many athletes as he recruited get the golden parachute? And, yes, we’re still asking why did Tech’s winningest football coach get the boot when he is owed over $1 million?

It’s easy. The football coach, a winner, challenged the wrong ego. Men, like the Chancellor, who presume to place their names upon buildings of worship breathe rarified air. St. Peter’s Basilica, a Church of Christ and Hance’s Chapel; you’ve got to admit that’s an exclusive club. His is an ego so large that it believes itself worthy of sovereign immunity. An ego so desperate that when introduced it is compelled to remind the listener that he once defeated George W. Bush in an eighties congressional election.

No, Tech fans, losing isn’t a sin a on Team Hance nor is abusive behavior or NCAA violations. Failing to kiss the ring is the mortal offense. The throne is surrounded with a host of handsomely paid sycophants. Courage gets you canned.

Poor management of athletic programs becomes obvious quickly. But this ego manages an entire university system. Why do we think that dumbing down the ranks, “Hancifying” if you will, to make the Sovereign look good has not been happening all over the university? Texas Tech may be decades undoing academic damage we’ve not even yet considered.

And should any highly paid Team Hance water boy wish to reclaim his manhood, he ought to stand behind the Chancellor tonight as the guns go up and the team takes the field and whisper in his Sovereign’s ear, “Remember Coach Kent, they aren’t saluting you; this is about the University.”